Nothing wrong with a nip and a tuck… We need fixing! Let’s face it, a lot of our stuff is way overdue for upgrades. I mean, for instance, our eyes are in the wrong place; they can’t see behind us, where all the action is. They should be on the tip of our fingers. Just think of all the fun they could have…
Noses… Now, THERE’S an underdeveloped Beta version! Two holes… Why? They’re both in the same place, smelling the same stuff. Stereo sniffing? Neither of them do the job right – the nose can’t even smell itself! Don’t believe me? Go ahead, take a whiff. See? Nothing. Bullshit.
And what’s up with the mouth? It’s a disaster! THAT’s what we should wear knickers over – or at least thongs – not our genitals! At least our genitals have manners. Our mouth doesn’t. Genitals don’t cough, or sneeze, or spit, or belch, or curse, or drool, or barf, or scream, or bitch, or sing out of tune, or lie, or make false promises, or tell bad jokes, or whistle for that matter. The mouth does. How offensive is THAT! I say — off with the panties, on with the mouth-patch!
Sorry, no time for more. Gotta run to my chiropractor!
Markie 
