And Why is a Banana Bent??
You’re in shambles and are standing knee-deep in rubble.
You’re broke because you lost your job and can’t find a new
one, your lover left you, and your lips are sporting a shiny ripe
cold sore. You are inconsolably miserable. Up comes a well-
meaner and tells you, “Don’t worry, everything will be alright.”
You know what they say—’Out of chaos comes order.’”
Sounds promising. But does it make you feel better? Not
really.
“Well, remember, there is always somebody worse off than
you,” nags the well-meaner, “so be grateful for your blessings.”
“Yeah,” you think to yourself, “I am one of those worse off’s
than anybody I know!”
“If it is meant to be,” the well-meaner is sure to point out, “it
will all work out. Like, if you and your lover are meant to be
together, you will be. Have faith!”
You want to slap that person.
The well-meaner moves closer. “Don’t worry, it’s all for a
reason and a higher purpose.”
Now you want to shoot the bastard.
“Well, that’s what THEY say,” concludes the well-meaner
and leaves you standing there gasping for air. “Just hang in
there. Wait and see how it goes.”
That’s what THEY say, huh? Well, who exactly is this
mysterious THEY? How do THEY know all this stuff? Do they
make it up? We never seem to question it. Besides, how much
sense do THEY even make? Does order REALLY come out of
chaos?
And about that “see how it goes” bit—who the hell is
this all-powerful IT? Is IT a relation to THEY? Does IT know even more than
THEY? More than just knowing, does IT also have the divine
power to make things happen, or not? Most to the point—has
anybody ever seen or met THEY or IT? Do they even exist other than
in our wishful thinking?
Accepting the need for clichés and platitudes in order to
handle the adversities of life, exactly how reliable and credible
are they? When dissecting and picking them apart in order to
rationally and logically examine their validity, do they reveal
themselves as mere shams? ‘False evidence appearing as
real?’ Do they mirror life’s little joke on us that “nothing is ever
quite what it appears to be”?
Let’s take a look at some of the common soul bon-bons and see
if they make sense.
“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
– Oh yeah? What doesn’t kill us may also put us in a wheelchair!
“It’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at
all.”
– Better for whom? You, or the bitch or jerk that dumped you?
“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
– Sure. But considering that “all the best ones are taken,” and
discounting the rejects and losers, what does that leave?
“It’s never too late.”
– It most certainly is. Just ask the old and the dead.
“Everything will be all right and work out in the end.”
– What good is it at the end?
“Anything is possible.”
– ANYTHING? How about one hand clapping?
“It was a lesson to learn from. We learn from our mistakes.”
– To me, the only thing we learn from mistakes is how to do
things wrong. It’s success that teaches us how to do things right.
“There are no problems, only solutions
There are no victims, only survivors.”
– If there are no problems—solutions to what?
Likewise, if there are no victims—what’s to survive from?
“Out of sight, out of mind
Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
– Which one is it?
“It’s always darkest before the dawn.”
– It’s also darkest in a great big, deep hole that you can’t climb
out of.
“I only want the best for you—I want you to be happy”
– Right—so long as I am not happier than you!
“You are as young as you feel”
– Bullshit. You may feel as young as you feel, but you are surely as
old as you are. If in doubt, check your odometer!”
“Don’t reach outside for it, reach inside of you.”
– Reach inside of me? Are you nuts? I’m empty! Try telling a
flower in the desert to reach inside itself for rain, and see
what you get.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover.
First impressions count!”
– Make up your mind!
“When in doubt, consult your inner child.”
– It can’t talk or walk yet
It appears that, if taken literally, none of these sayings make
much logical, or rational, sense at all. THEY simply must not know what
they’re talking about. Yet, on second thoughts, in context with
our specific dilemma and our own perception of reality, their
meaning suddenly changes. Just like beauty, reality is in the
eyes of the beholder. It’s all in how we look at it. As THEY say,
“If the shoe fits, wear it.”
In any event, to apply measures of logic or reason to this
probe is rather pointless, because life and nature are not logical
or reasonable. According to all laws of physics, a bumblebee
can’t fly. But it does. And so can we, all reason and logic to the
contrary, propelled by mere faith and the sheer power of the
heart. In that spirit, everything is indeed possible, and it is
indeed never too late. Not even when we’re dead.
Bottom line—are clichés and platitudes true or not?
Put into proper context, yes, clichés and platitudes appear to
be true indeed—but only for the optimist in the face of
adversity. That is why they survive.
Then, finally—why IS a banana bent?
Because if it weren’t bent, it wouldn’t be a banana.
So THEY say…
(c) Mark Wirtz
